


The Paths We Walk

by 64packofcrayons



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Conquest, Conquest spoilers, Established Relationship, F/M, I suck at tags, Kaze/Selena appear like once so yeah, PTSD, Path of Nohr, Self Harm, canon character death, fates spoilers, i forgot the angst, i guess?, mention of suicide, threats of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-14
Updated: 2016-09-14
Packaged: 2018-08-15 00:53:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8035951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/64packofcrayons/pseuds/64packofcrayons
Summary: She is curled up on the window seat, head resting on her knees. Corrin stares out into the starry night of the astral plane, looking at the tiny silver of lights burning far, far away.





	The Paths We Walk

**Author's Note:**

> So Corrin goes through a hell of a lot in Conquest, and although the game says otherwise and doesn't really touch on it, I refuse to believe they come out unscathed psychologically. Please be warned this fic contains self harm, suicidal tendencies and mild depictions of violence.

He fears the day he has to leave.

Laslow knew that there would be a time that he would go back, not to the broken future that he was from, but the calm and peaceful one where his mother and friends were waiting from him.

He told her once they were married, he told her everything that there was to know about him; gave her the reasons why, some nights, he woke up gasping for air and in a cold sweat.

He had told her his real name, and Selena and Odin had given their consent for him to reveal their true identities to the princess as well.

Corrin had been understanding, had wrapped her arms around him and murmured, “I’m here for you. I always will be.”

He wants to be there for her as well, and he tries, he tries so hard. After the taking of Suzanoh, Corrin had dragged herself back to their treehouse with red-rimmed eyes and a trembling lower lip, and he knows she had held it all in.

“Oh, Corrin. Oh, my love,” Laslow sighs, and as he draws her into his arms, he feels her break, sobbing into his shoulder.

“L-Laslow…I tried…I _tried_ and I couldn’t save him…it’s my fault. I’m the one that…that led him to feel that way…I am a traitor, I can’t do this, I can’t…”

She cries herself to sleep that night.

Laslow strokes her hair gently, making small sounds of reassurance as she hiccupped her way into a fitful doze. He didn’t say anything, mostly because he had sensed there was nothing he _could_ say to make his wife feel better. He is all too familiar with what she is feeling.

He lies awake, remembering the time where he had wailed and sobbed over the death of his mother, survivor’s guilt ripping him in two. Sometimes it reared its ugly head, whispering cruel things that made his breath catch and his heart seize.

_You couldn’t protect your own mother. You were weak and pathetic. It’s your fault she died. You couldn’t protect her and you won’t be able to protect Corrin, either. You are nothing, nothing at all._

Corrin curls into him, her body seeking out the warmth of his, and he presses a kiss to her forehead. “I can't go back,” he murmurs. “I don’t want to leave you.”

 

* * *

 

Laslow doesn’t wake her the next morning; he couldn’t get up even if he tried. Corrin has a habit of clinging to him as she sleeps, fisting her hand into the front of his nightshirt.

He watches her sleep for a moment, studying the planes of her face, the sweep of her eyelashes and her Cupid’s bow mouth.

How will he do it? How will he tell her he has to leave? Should he ask her to come with him? Corrin is extremely loyal, sometimes to a fault, and asking her to make a life-altering choice – again – could break her.

Laslow will not be the one who will make her choose between himself and her siblings.   As selfish as he is when it comes to his wife, he will not put her through that.

It’s still early, just after daybreak. The birds are already starting to chirp, and as they get louder, Corrin stirs, her grip on his clothing slackening.   “Laslow…

His heart swells; he is the first thing on her mind, even after what she had witnessed last night. “Good morning, my love.”

“Hmm…” Corrin blinks blearily, and he watches her red eyes try to focus on him, but she fails. “I’m sleepy…” Her eyes flutter shut again, and she sighs deeply.

He chuckles gently – mornings had never been Corrin’s forte. “You can rest a little more if you’d like. We have time.”

“No…I want to stay here with you.”

“All right. I’m just going to get some water – “ As he makes to get out of the bed, she makes a sound of distress, and he pauses.

“Don’t leave me,” she whispers, and his heart breaks in two.

 

* * *

 

 

“It’s ending,” Selena says, wrapping the handle of her sword with a fresh piece of leather. They are standing in the smithy, Laslow having been relieved of his shift by Benny a few minutes earlier. “The end of the war…it’s going to be soon.”

“How do you know?”

Selena glares up at him from her position on the wooden stool. “Gods, can you use your brain just once? Hoshido can’t suffer any more casualties as it is! Prince Takumi is dead and his battalion was eliminated. We’ve captured Princess Sakura, but who knows how long Garon will keep her alive? If Hinoka and Ryoma fall, that’s it for them. Game over. They have to surrender at some point.”

Laslow considers the redheaded mercenary – beneath her abrasive exterior, which he learned years ago was a shield for a very insecure girl. Selena is smarter than most people give her credit for.

“We have to leave after that,” she murmurs. “We can’t stay here. This isn’t our world. This wasn’t even the path we were supposed to take.”

“It’s going to be harder than we thought…” Laslow sighs, leaning against the wall, watching as his friend tested out the grip, weighing it in her calloused hands.

“Sometimes a clean break is better. Less messy,” she says almost casually.

“I can’t do that to Corrin. It would destroy her. I can’t just leave her. But what will _you_ do…with Kaze, I mean?”

“He knows,” she says. “I told him…what he needs to know. He asked me to stay.”

“Do you want to?”

“I just said we have to leave, didn’t I?!” she snaps.

“That’s not what I asked. I didn’t ask you if you _have_ to stay. If Kaze…refused to come back with you…would you stay here with him? Even if it meant never seeing our friends again…or that beautiful world we could have grown up in? Seeing your mother again?” He watches her, and something changes in her demeanor, and she looks… _tired_.

Selena is silent, and her eyes flicker to the door of the smithy’s, where the quiet, handsome ninja is waiting for her. A small smile spreads over her lips, something so rare for the sullen mercenary.

And that is when he knows she has made her decision.

Laslow has yet to make his.

 

* * *

 

 

Corrin is quiet as they march into Hoshido, holding her head high even as her own countrymen call her _traitor_ , _scum_ , _whore, filth_. He squeezes her hand tight, even as he watches her eyes prick with tears. _A smile makes everything better_ , he had once told her.  
Corrin does not smile much these days. Sometimes Laslow fears that he will lose her to this war, watch her spiral down into a darkness that even he will not be able to pull her out of.

Princess Hinoka provides another challenging battle for the Nohrian army – he had heard the Hoshidan princess trained relentlessly after Corrin’s abduction and it showed.

Corrin had managed to bring her down, and in a move typical for the gentle Nohrian princess, spared Hinoka’s life, begging for her to run far away until the war was over.

His wife frets that night, pacing around their shared tent so many times he begins to think she’ll wear a hole in the carpet. The war’s toll on her is starting to take its effect - Corrin scratches at the skin on her arms until she bleeds.

Laslow gently takes her trembling hands into his own, pressing them against his chest. “Love…don’t do that…I can’t watch you hurt yourself like this.”

“I didn’t mean to…” she whispers. “I – I didn’t know I was…”

He cleans the cuts on her arms, swathes them in clean white linen. He works silently, aware of her crimson eyes following his every movement.

“I can’t stay here, Laslow.”

Laslow’s hand slips, but he manages to recover, tying the bandage into a neat knot at the base of her wrist. He decides to play dumb. “I don’t understand.”

“I can’t stay in Nohr. All my life, I have been locked away. Nohr was my home by force, not by choice. But my choice to side with them…it means I cannot go back to Hoshido. I do not belong anywhere.”

“That’s not true. You belong with me, Corrin. And I love you.” He runs a hand through her snow white hair, dipping forward to press his forehead to hers. “You must know how much I love you.”

Corrin offers up a shaky smile and quickly presses her lips to his. “I love you too. So much.” She leans in again, seeking another kiss and he grants it to her, cupping her jaw with his hand.

He lays her down on the cot, tracing each detail of her face with his forefinger. “Do you remember what I said…about me having to go away…someday?”

“Yes. Of course.”

He closes his eyes, tries to stop trembling. “That day…may be very soon. And…I will have to go back to my country. With Selena and Odin.” Laslow opens his eyes, gazes down at the woman beneath him. “And I want you to come with me. If we both survive this war, will you come back to my homeland with me?”

Corrin’s lips part in surprise, a tiny gasp escaping her. “Laslow…”

“I know what I ask of you is a lot…and I will understand if – “

“Of course I will.”

He can scarcely believe his ears, and he gapes at her. “A – Are you sure?”

“I want to be with _you_ , Laslow. Every time we apart, my heart hurts until we are together again. I cannot spend the rest of my life apart from you. I would die from loneliness.”

Corrin glances away suddenly, looking a little guilty. “I’d miss my siblings. And I’m sure they might never forgive me.” She looks back up at him, her eyes bright and honest.   “But I would never be happy again without you in my life. I will follow you anywhere.”

“Oh, Corrin,” Laslow sighs, and kisses her deeply this time, lacing his fingers with hers.

 

* * *

 

She is screaming, a wail that chills his bones and sends shivers down his spine. He is sure her grief will drive her mad. Corrin cries herself sick, and he rubs her back as she retches into a pail – nothing comes up, because she refuses to eat.

“I can’t, I can’t, I can’t,” she sobs, rocking back and forth, even as he holds her close, trying everything he can to calm her. His worst fear is that she will lose control and burst into her dragon form; go on a rampage and destroy everything in her path.

“Corrin, I’ve got you…you’re all right, Corrin…”

“He – he – “

Laslow cannot close his eyes because every time he does, he sees Corrin’s horrified face as Ryoma rips through his own abdomen with his sword, lightning crackling in the air. The smell of burning flesh is one he is familiar with, but he will never get used to it.

She eventually cries herself out, and he tucks her under the blankets of the cot, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

_Please gods, let this be over soon. I want to see her smile again._

 

* * *

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” she sobs, beseeching the Hoshidan prince, the one with the silver hair and the divine bow. Or what is left of him.

He smells like decaying flesh, and the look in his eyes is of a man possessed. Prince Takumi is too far gone now, nothing but a puppet, an unknown entity pulling the strings.

“ _I’ll kill you!”_

“Takumi, please, please don’t do this!” she begs, dodging out of a purple arrow’s path.

 

* * *

 

 

She is listless, a pale form in the night.

She doesn’t sleep anymore, and he knows it’s because of the way the nightmares make her toss and turn, kicking the sheets off of their bed.

Corrin’s pale hair shines in the moonlight, and Laslow’s heart clenches because she’s so _thin_ , the way her cheekbones jut out makes him want to cry. She is curled up on the window seat, head resting on her knees. She stares out into the starry night of the astral plane, looking at the tiny silver of lights burning far, far away.

“Corrin. Come back to bed, love.”

His wife is silent; the only indication that she heard him is in the way her shoulders tense at his words. The bed has become a place of torture rather than rest for her. “I want to die.” The words are spoken plainly, almost casually, as if she were sitting on the veranda for tea rather than expressing suicidal thoughts.

His heart falls to his feet, his lungs fill with ice. “Corrin – “

“I am a traitor. And a murderer. And I deserve to die.”

“Corrin, don’t say things like that.” He reaches towards her, but she recoils, launching herself off the window seat and across the room.

“ _Don’t! Don’t touch me!”_

Laslow flinches because this is the last thing he would expect to hear from her, and he’d be damned if he ever hurt her, intentionally or not.  

“How can you stand me?!” Corrin sobs. “You don’t deserve this, you don’t deserve any of this, _no one does!_ It’s my fault. All of it. Azura is dead, Takumi is dead, Ryoma is dead, Mother is dead. Their blood on my hands. How can you bear to touch me, let alone look at me?!”

Corrin is gasping, tearing at her hair, and Laslow knows she means every word, every threat of what she might do to herself, and before he realizes it, he has lunged at her, wrapping his arms around her, not relenting even as she tries to push away with surprising strength for one of her stature.

“I hate myself! I, I, I hate myself for doing this, I wish none of this had ever happened…”

He lets her cry and scream and they sink to the floor, Laslow rocking his wife gently, listening to it all, her fears and her anger and her hopelessness.

She calms down eventually, her nose and cheeks flushed. The sun is rising, and he is tired and hungry, but the last thing he will do is leave her alone.

They watch the sun spread its morning rays over the floor of their treehouse, and just as the birds start to chirp, Corrin whispers, “I’m sorry.”

Laslow presses a kiss to the top of her head.

“It’s all right.”

“Laslow…I need help.”

“I know, love.”

Corrin falls silent again, presses her hand against his. After a moment, she shifts, speaks again. “I love you so very much. I hope you know that. No matter what happens to me.”

“Nothing will ever happen to you. Not by your hand or anyone else’s. I swear to you.” He holds her tightly, as if she might slip away at any moment.

“Will you help me, Laslow? Please? I can’t…do this alone.”

“Of course I will.”

Corrin sighs in relief, pushes against him, the curve of her back fitting comfortably against him, two pieces of a puzzle.

He breathes in the smell of her: iron, lavender, and something else he can’t name – and registers the fact that she is _here_ with him, safe and warm and loved.

 

* * *

 

 

Nothing is ever the same again.

Corrin visits Hoshido, where Queen Hinoka rules over the healing country and manages to forge a bittersweet peace with Nohr. The warrior princess-turned regent looks much older than her years, but puts on a smile and brave face, welcomes her Nohrian guests graciously.

Corrin opens up slowly, like the flowers of a petal greeting spring’s first sun, softly and quietly relating every worry and fear to Laslow. He doesn’t offer advice, although he wouldn’t hesitate to if asked. He knows she just needs someone to _listen_. And she in turn, listens to his fears and worries and hopes and dreams, all of them spilling out one by one.

He will go back to Ylisse. One day, he will return to the land he grew up in, the lush green fields and bright blue skies. Where Lucina waits, where his mother and father wait, where the Shepherds and his friends wait. One day he will go back, and he knows Corrin would follow.

But for now, he stays.

 

 

 


End file.
